Cookie Baking For Dummies (For The Guys)

Welcome to DV's "Cookie Baking For Dummies"! A step-by-step guide to making cookies that are tasty and easy to make. I thought I would try to help all the guys as part of the Cookie Recipe Extravaganza.
Let's make one thing clear...DV LOVES cookies. I'm a big fan of cookies and like to eat and try the great creations of others. But let's face it...for a majority of guys, actually making cookies is not on the top of our list. That probably goes, at least for me it does, for any baking. As much as I enjoy eating, it's the consumption I enjoy, not the manufacturing. Isn't that why I have a wonderful female partner? So she can bake me cookies? ;)

So for all you guys out there that aren't that good at baking or cooking, this is the post for you. I'm going to make this real easy for you. If I can do it, any of you can do it. And I can promise you that your kids love when Dad does this...especially when they know you can't cook. It holds quite the entertainment value. LOL!

All you need is an oven, a cookie sheet, and a flat spatula (spatula not absolutely necessary). If you have a apron handy, put it on..it will make you look cool and like you know what you're doing. Now...go to the store and buy this:

That's right... it's cookie dough that is completely ready to be baked and even comes in perforated squares. See...easy! Almost idiot proof! (As a side note, the dough is pretty good right out of the package, so eat one or two if you like.) For those that aren't familiar with your oven, find the temperature pre-heat button, and pre-heat the oven to the temp stated on the package. The location and method for pre-heating varies by oven model, so you're on your own with this. Once the oven is pre-heated and ready, open your cookie package, break apart the little pre-formed squares, set them on the cookie sheet as directed, and put them in the oven. It's that simple. All of the dough will not fit on one cookie sheet. So, you will have to do this cycle more than once. The oven will be very hot so be careful not to burn yourself. Trust me...that really hurts! Might be helpful on your first try to have some aloe handy just in case.

This next part is important, so pay attention. The package says how long to leave the cookies in the oven. So, use your swiss army watch and keep track of how long they are in the oven. This is typically around 10 minutes. Once your time is up, use a hot-pad or oven mitt and remove the cookie sheet from the oven. Do not...I repeat...DO NOT try to remove the sheet using your bare hand. I don't care how big and bad you think you are, this is a REALLY BAD idea. Use your spatula and remove the cookies from the cookie sheet and place on a plate of your choice. Once cookies are removed from sheet, put the remaining dough on the cookie sheet, place in oven, and repeat the timing process.

The cookies are ready to eat as soon as they come out of the oven. But BEWARE...they will be very hot, and the gooey chocolate chips will scald your mouth, so you have been warned. Within a matter of minutes, though, they are still warm but safe to eat. As a safety issue, once all cookies are made, remember to turn the oven off. Not only will not doing so waste energy, but leaving it on greatly increases the risk of burning down your house.

So guys, you now have the knowledge to go out into the world and make your own cookies, or make them for the ones you love. Whatever you do, don't tell the women how easy this is. Let them think you slaved over them and put hours of effort into making cookies just for them. They will be very impressed and so appreciative of your efforts.

Good luck, and may the "Cookie Gods" be by your side as you make those little patties of dough and chocolate goodness. :)