Formspring Question - Being Under Protection

I recently received a question on Formspring in regards to "Being Under Protection" and what that means.  Unfortunately, the question was cut off so I didn't get to read the full question.  Yet, I think I got the main point of it.  For some reason my Fomspring does that.  It's like a text message, and only allows so many characters.  Anyway...

Rather than answer that here, I'm going to make a referral to another blogger and post.  She wrote about this very thing a couple of days ago, and I left a comment in regards to it.  The blogger I mention is Blossom, and her post is "Protector".  Click on the post title to go to it. 

I hope this helps to answer your question my dear anonymous formspring questioner.  If not, feel free to try again, or better yet, email me directly. 

DV

Blog Housecleaning

Well, actually I did a lot of housecleaning on the list of blogs I'm following.  I removed, or stopped following, quite a few blogs.  There are several reasons why I would have removed you/your blog from my list.  They are include, but are not limited to some of the following:

- Blogger shows me that it no longer exists
- You haven't written anything in over six months
- Your blog has gone private, and I wasn't invited

If you know or feel I have removed you incorrectly, or you would like me to follow you, then send me a message and let me know.  None of the removals were anything personal.  Also, it is always possible that I accidentally removed you from my following list.  I am just trying to clean up my list of those I follow.  About half of my list weren't even active or existing blogs anymore.  If I was following you before, or still am, then it's because I enjoy what you write and have an interest.  So, if you are still active and I removed you, let me know and I will add you back on my list.  I just didn't want anyone to think I got tired of them and just quit reading.  In almost all situations, that is not the case.


DV

Fantastic Ass Friday Chamionship Winner

And the winner is, as declared by you the voters................

This photo is the one you all voted as the best of all the best asses on our Friday ritual.  It was a close vote, as it usually turns out to be.  I thank you all for voting and coming back week after week to check out the pics and place your vote. 

Next wekk we will return to your regualarly scheduled programming and begin another season of FAF.  Until then...I hope you all have a great weekend, and...get some Fantastic Ass for yourself! 

DV

Saying Goodbye

I know some of you may have read the title to this and wondered where I'm going and why I'm leaving.  Relax...I'm not going anywhere.  This will be a little off topic from my norm, but I wanted to do it anyway.

Yesterday I lost my companion and sidekick of 12 years.  She brought a lot of joy and happiness to the world of my family and we will miss her deeply.  Yet, that is part of life, and we must move on.  It has been coming on for a while now, and her failing health finally caught up with her.  She is much better off now, and I'm glad to know she isn't suffering any longer. 

She was the best dog anyone could ever hope to have.  Very obedient, laid back, and wouldn't hurt anything or anyone.  Many of you who are pet owners know, they become a member of the family and like one of your children.  There's nothing quite like having a 120 lb housedog.  LOL!  Well, mostly housedog anyway.  She was rather spoiled and certainly didn't have a rough life.  What more could a dog ask for?!?!

There is a stigma attached to dogs like this.  I firmly believe a lot of it how they are raised and trained.  If you are to have a dog this size, and with this reputation, you must at least give them basic training to be able to control them.  I firmly believe that she understood my every word and would listen to me and do just as I told her without hesitation.  Well, ok another dog or the wandering squirrel did catch her attention, but she would stop on a dime if I asked her, and that is what is required with these dogs.

She was excellent with kids and everyone that met her, once they got beyond the scare factor, loved her to death.  Those that didn't know her, were scared of her, and that is exactly what I wanted.  She kept those unwanted people away.  There were times the pizza man wouldn't even come to the door if he saw her.  I'd have to go out to the driveway to get and pay for the pizza.  Better than having a gun or an alarm system in my book.  (yes I still do have guns)   She was as gentle and loving as you could ever ask for.  The neighborhood kids even loved her, and used to come to the house and knock on the door and ask if she could come out and play.  They would all chase each other and run around and have the best time.  My daughter, who is 3, has grown up with her, so this will be hard on her as well.

This is like losing a part of your family.  We will miss her greatly!  You will never be another like you!  Take care!



DV

Formspring Question - Being a Brat

"I'm submissive by nature but I can also be an opinionated brat. My Dom loves it mostly but my brattishness has become abundant lately and its causing problems. Outsiders wouldn't think I'm subbie at all. Any suggestions how we could fix my brat side?  Thnx!"


Well this is an interesting situation.  A fairly short question will end up receiving a fairly lengthy answer.  Having said that, I will admit up front that I don't have direct experience in dealing with a brat.  I will however use my years of experience in life and D/s to at least give you my opinion.  Hopefully some of my readers and followers can chime in as well with comments to shed some light and their experience to assist with this answer.

I won't begin to tell you how to directly fix this, but I will tell you what I think makes you act this way and why you do it.  At first glance, I want to be a bit harsh...I want to come right out and say that if you act bratty, and you know it, and you know it's causing problems, then just stop acting that way.  Seems like a simple answer.  Yet, I think there is more to it than that.  That very well may be like asking me to quit being Dominant...or like asking a dog to be less dog and act more like a cat.  It just isn't in the cards.  It's part of who you are and your personality.

I think there are reasons for your behavior.  You say you are submissive by nature, which I will not doubt.  But, I think you need to feel the Dominance and Control over you.  You need to be made to submit.  You need to feel a strong Dominance presiding over you.  You act out, as in being a brat, to be able to see and feel the Dominance as it is used to rein you back in.  Being a Brat is your way of asking for attention, and asking to being Dominated and Controlled.  You need that figure to step up and put you in your place.  That is what makes you feel like the submissive you need to feel like. 

You also stated that your being a brat has been in abundance lately, and I will assume that not only have you been a brat more lately, but have also been more of a brat.  Not just pushing a little, but pushing a whole lot.  This to me screams of a cry for attention.  It is you pushing and testing his position as your Dominant.  You need the attention more right now, for whatever reason, and are stepping things up to see if he will step up as well and be who you want and need him to be.  Or, maybe this is your way of trying to take things a bit further without actually having to come out and say it.  You are raising the bar and seeing if he takes the hint and does what you are wanting.  Sounds a bit like topping from the bottom, but that's a whole other post and situation.  Or is it?  Maybe you are controlling to a degree by being a brat and pushing to get the desired response you need?!?!

So...how do you fix this?  I will suggest this...talk, talk and talk some more.  Good open honest communication is key to everything.  You two need to discuss your situation, why you both feel you are behaving the way you are, and then both discuss his responses to it.  This isn't meant to be argumentative at all, just talk it through.  It is a way for the two of you to better understand each other, and why you are responding to each other the way you are.  It's to help you learn more about each other, to grow as a couple, and ultimately become closer.  Then you have to figure out and decide if you can back off, and if he can be the Dominant you need.  That doesn't mean he's a bad Dominant or person at all.  If your behavior, though, is causing problems, then there is a chance he can't step up, or isn't comfortable, having to hover over and control you that much.  Only the two of you can talk this through, look at the reasons behind everything, and then decide where to go from here. 

I look forward to all the comments that may point out something I'm missing, or different views of this altogether!

DV

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF) Championship Finals

Woohoo!!!  We have finally made it!  We have reached the Championship Finals of the FAF Playoffs.  This week...you the fans and readers...will determine your favorite ass of 2010.  We have had a good vote turnout so far during the playoffs, and I expect this week to be no different.

We have five finalists for you to choose between for your vote.  Two each from the past two weeks, and one that I chose as a favorite of mine, that got a bye into the finals.  Please only one vote per person.  This will be tough, so choose wisely!

FAF Chamionship Finals

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DV

Monday Humor!

This is funny..and oh so true!!!

FetLife

I have been asked a few times if I am on FetLife.  The answer is yes!  I have connected with a few of you over there.  I'm not on there a ton, but I am on there.  I know, as I have read, that many of you happen to be on FetLife.  It does seem to be a pretty good location, with a lot a groups, interesting people, and some good information and view swaps on a variety of topics.  Best of all...it;s FREE!  Well unless you would like to make a donation to them, or watch the videos, in which case a donation is required.

Anyway, I am on there for those that care.  Come look me up and be my friend if you like.  I'm on there as DauntlessVitality, of course.  If you send me a friend request, and your profile name doesn't make you recognizable to me fro here, at least send me a message and give me some info and let me know who you are.  That is always better than a blind friend request. 

DV

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF) Playoffs - Round 2

 Round #1 of the playoffs went well.  Thanks to all that voted.  The top two asses, as chosen by you the fans, are showing below.  They will be moving on to the finals next week.  This week we have Round #2.  The top two asses this week will move on to face the top two from last week, along with the one I chose to get a bye into the finals.  As with last week, you can again vote twice, for two separate asses.  Enjoy, and may the best asses win! 

Last Week's Advancers

Round #2 Participants

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DV

Doing It Right?!?!

"This is how you know you're doing it right!" 

I came across this picture and it had this caption along with it.   This made me stop in my tracks and think...and stare...and think some more.  Is this true?  Is this how it is supposed to be?  Is this what we should all push for and strive to achieve?  To make her so emotional that she breaks down and cries?

I have written in the past (as many of you know) about feelings and emotions for a submissive in TTWD.  Do I think we should strive for this type of mental and emotional breakdown?  No, not strive for necessarily!  Do I think that this is bound to happen at times?  Yes...absolutely!  I think it is inevitable.  I don't think there is any way around it.

A submissive, whether new to her submission or one that is been involved in this for a while, can be very emotional.  A Master or Dominant is supposed to help her find herself.  To help her find who she really is and needs to be.  To help bring that out of her, into the open, and face it head on.  He is there to push her limits and take her farther than either of them know she can go.  This will bring out some very raw emotions, as well as nervousness and maybe even some fear.  She may not only be scared of what he may do to her, but of how she will react to it.  A majority of the time, this fear is of the unknown.  She is heading into uncharted waters and doesn't know what to expect.  This is only natural.

Just for the record, let me add my usual mantra about this process.  Any of you that follow me regularly know this already.  This isn't about blindly pushing and forcing a submissive to do things.  It isn't about doing things to her, just for the sake of doing them.  A Master or Dom should be very calculated in his approach and methods.  This should be done with care and safety in mind.   I don't necessarily believe in pushing to the point of breaking, with the intent of breaking.  Yet, at times it will happen.  If you are doing your job, she will be pushed past the breaking point at times.  However, it is the Doms job to be able to read her and see when she is there, even if the activity is new to him as well.  She is at his mercy and his control, and it is his job to take care of her.  There is never anything wrong with small baby steps and working into things.

You must be prepared to care for her not only during the process of the activity you are doing, but after as well.    The aftercare and support can be as important, if not more so, as the actual activity itself.  This is when she will know that you are there for her...the bond between you can strengthen...and she can feel the love and care you have for her.  It is in this that she knows she is not alone in dealing with this.  It re-affirms her decision to be yours, as she can see and feel that she gave herself to you, you pushed her, she went over the edge, and you are there to catch her and help her through the mental and emotional aspects that follow.  It is in this, that she will become even more yours, as the bonds between you grow deeper.

So...do I think you have to break her down, like in the picture, to be doing things right?  No I don't!  But I do think it will happen at times, whether it is planned or not.  It is part of the process.  It is how the two of you deal with it and deal with each other, when it does happen, that matters most.  It's this dealing with it that can ultimately show you both how much you mean to each other, bring you closer, and show you the purpose of the whole relationship.  She should never have to deal with these emotions on her own.  It should always be something you work through together to better understand where you have been, where you are, and where you would like to go.  Apart...you will not make it very far!  Together...you can climb mountains!

Fantastic Ass Friday (FAF) Playoffs

LET'S GET READY TO RUMMMMMBBBLE!!!  (just for the record I know this saying is copywrited by the boxing announcer guy, but can't think of his name, so this is his credit)

Just as in football, it's time for the playoffs.  It is time to vote for your favorite of all favorite asses.  We will find a winner and declare the best ass of 2010.  I have adjusted the rules for the playoffs, just a bit, so read carefully below.  Here is how this will work:

- There have been 13 weekly winners so far, all voted for and chosen by you, my readers and fans.
- I will choose my favorite which will get a bye into the finals.
- Of the 12 remaining, there will be 6 to vote on this week, and 6 next week.
- The top two each week advance to the finals, along with my chosen favorite. 
- Since these are your favorites, and two will advance each week, I will allow each person two votes per week this week and next week, one for each of your favs.  Please only vote twice (Once each for two separate pics. This is for fun so please don't ruin it for everyone else.). 
- In the finals the ass with the most votes will be declared the winner. 


Any questions?  Good, I didn't think so!  On with the pictures and voting!  Here is Round #1...Enjoy!

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Good Luck...DV!

Do I What?

I came across this little snippet, which is an advertisement, from way back when.  It did make me laugh, but then again...does it have any truth to it?!?!  Hmmm...

Let me start by saying this...I don't condone beating anyone.  To me that sounds abusive and brutal.  Maybe you could say it this way back in the day, but in today's society that would get you hung on the courthouse square at high noon.  Anything physically done to another person, especially when it comes to inflicting pain, should be done with full consent of the receiving party.  Let me repeat that....it MUST be consensual.  Yet, by looking at the picture the activity in question seems to be something dear to most of us in this lifestyle...SPANKING!

I think almost all of us are or have been involved in some type of inflicted pain, whether you are the giver or the receiver.  It seems to be an ingrained part of the bdsm culture.  Not completely mind you, as everyone has their limits and things they want no part of, but the principle of it is there whether you participate or not.  Other than maybe some type of nipple play or torture, spanking would be the number one form of pain infliction, in my guesstimation anyway. 

I think there is room for some play in this arena for just about everyone.  Spanking can take on many forms, and be delivered by many sources.  You can use your bare hand, a paddle, a crop, whips, canes, and floggers.  Let's not stop there...bring out the household items such as hair brushes and wooden spoons.  You can use just about anything to spank or paddle someone, especially if you use your imagination.  The interesting part about all of these items is that they all cause sensations that are different.  The feel of them is different, the pain is different, and the marks they can leave are different.  So...just because you don't like being spanked with one item, doesn't mean you won't like another.  Of course a lot of it depends on how the item is used and with what force. 

My point is that in some form or fashion, we all can find a level of spanking that we find erotic and arousing.   I'm not going to get into the need for pain, or the submissive aspects in this post.  Just that many of us enjoy spanking.  Some of you may not.  And, some of you may be interested or curious and just haven't tried it, or are nervous about trying it.  I would encourage you to give it a go and see what you think, if you have never done it.  Start slow and easy and don't go too far too fast in the beginning.  Experiment with different items and feel the differences in how they feel.  Find the ones that like and dislike the most, and then work on things from there. 

I would love to hear from both sides on this...why you do and/or don't like spanking and why?  What is your favorite item to be spanked with?  Most unusual?  Your views?

Back amongst the living...

Hello and Happy New Year to all my faithful followers and readers.  Ok, you don't even have to be faithful, hello to you anyway.  I've been on a small hiatus the past week and a half or so, but it's time to come out of my hole and get back amongst the living.  I haven't even been on here to read what everyone has been posting.  So, I have been busy reading and catching up on all the to-do's of everyone.  You all post too much.  LOL!

Christmas was...we'll just say long.  Family scattered about here and there, so I end up traveling a good deal.  Not to mention the usual fiascos that happen with family over the holidays.  This year was no exception, as I'm pretty much happy to have the holidays over with and behind us so I can get back on a normal schedule.  It was a great Christmas for my daughter though.  That was the shining light of the whole thing.  It's just fun to watch her and try to keep up.  Although, I'm too old to keep up, and there are days I think she's killing me.  LOL! 

I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year's.  It's about time for me to get back to posting, and get FAF fired back up.  I am going to start the new year with a "best of" version of FAF.  I will be taking all the weekly winners you all voted for thus far, and we will be putting them against each other.  When it's over, we will know who your overall favorite is.  It should be interesting to see. 

Have a good week everyone.  It's back to the grindstone for work and life.  Take care!

DV